Saturday, February 11, 2006

The Handsome Woman Leaving Outback


It's Friday. I'm out of work. The weekend has begun. I'm on a caffeine high that would make Pat O'Brien envious. I pull up to a yeild sign infront of Outback and stop for a family of three. One dweeby looking dad, one dweeby looking son and one HOUSE of a handsome wife. The dweeby males see that I have stopped for them and jog across the street. The handsome wife continued to stroll. Leisurely. She didn't even look at me. No wave, no acknowledgment. Her eyes were set straight ahead, just so she could see me out of her periphery. She didn't even give me the courtesy of looking away. I blare my radio, extend my arm and give that handsome peice of ass one big thumbs up as she walked from the median to the side walk. I figured she'd be able to see my arm move, look at me and say something OR feel like today's winner of the Fuck Mother Award. But no. She didn't even look at me. Apparently I'm the Fuck Mother.
And I think the thing that really struck me was the dweeby dad and son. You know she runs that house. Like Stalin. Ever see the episode of The Family Guy where Lois takes karate lessons, beats up the New Yorkers and goes on a power trip? Peter walks down stairs with a limp and is obviously in some discomfort. Brian asks Peter what happened. Peter finally confides, "Last night... Lois was... she was the man last night!" and he proceeds to bawl. Yeah, that's what the handsome woman reminded me of.

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