Wednesday, February 22, 2006

I'm Afraid of Racoons

At about 2:30 A.M. a few months back, I walk up the stairs to my back porch and I'm staring eye to eye with a 30 pound Racoon. This thing was a MONSTER! I swear to god. These things freak me out. Oddly enough, it didn't eat me. It didn't even try. It ran up my stairs and hid, trapped on the porch. Infront of my door. I wasn't going up there. Hell no! The bad news was that our front door was broken at the time and we couldn't get in from outside; it could only be opened from the inside. My roommate was home, but had to be up in two and half hours for work. So, what do I do? I call and wake my roommate's ass up to let me in.
Racoons are scary.
Slightly less frightening than this, but frightening nonetheless.


At 8:36 AM, February 22, 2006, Blogger Patterson said...

Theory: Racoons look like bandits. Bandits are bad.

That poor dog. Do they give abortions to animals? Because I support abortion in cases of rape and incest, and would include beastiality if it meant not making this poor dog wake up one day to puppies that look like Zorro.

At 8:49 AM, February 22, 2006, Blogger Bomber said...

So what did you do? Some 90 lb woman took on a 700 lb bear, and you're afraid of a 30 lb racoon?

Incidentially, I just watched the Family Guy episode where they are forced to move down south and everytime Peter opens something a racoon jumps out and attacks him...

At 3:08 PM, February 24, 2006, Anonymous pcoan said...

Reminds me of the time when we were kids, when there was a bat inside my house and a skunk outside on my front porch. Quite the dilemma.

At 5:55 AM, February 28, 2006, Anonymous sloppy said...


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