Friday, March 31, 2006

"Deodorant" is Definitely a Word We Own


I may be a day late on this topic, but following the same ideaology of replacing words like "French Fries" with "Freedom Fries" and "Garage" with "Car Hold" I have resolved to never again use the word "Fiance."
It's terrible. As an early Seinfeld episode joke, "Have you seen my fiance? Oh, where is my fiance? Where could my fiance have gone? That silly goose."
What a lame, fu-fu, french word. I think the fact that men have to be known as someone's "fiance" for an extended period of time increases the likelihood that they will want to postpone the inevitable engagement.
So, I refuse to use that word. When I was referring to a friend's fiance in conversation as his "girlfriend," I was quickly scolded by another woman who said, "Wait, it's not his girlfriend, it's his fiance!" So, I descibed how brokeback I feel the word is and I choose to refer to people in these situations, simple as, boyfriends or girlfriends. That was retorted with, "But it's a different level of girlfriend. That term doesn't disclose the essence of the relationship." The essence of the relationship.
OK. Well, from now on, anyone that is engaged will be referred to as a SuperMega-Girlfriend or boyfriend, respectively. That's so much better. It's like you're a superhero, instead of some smelly french guy with a crappy mustache.

10 Comments:

At 12:46 PM, March 31, 2006, Blogger Patterson said...

You should've farted in her face and told her to smell the essence of your ass!

If it's ever brought up again, you should probably mention to her that if she's going to give you french lessons, they better be of a completely different kind.

 
At 7:00 AM, April 04, 2006, Blogger Bomber said...

I prefer to use the term "dead man walking" in refernce to an engaged man and "future warden" in reference to an engaged woman. Trust me, this is much more fun at parties.

 
At 5:44 AM, April 10, 2006, Blogger Edward Prisby said...

Meta-girlfriend would very cool. I too refuse to use the word fiance. It's like you have something to prove. Plus it's such a temporary phrase, which leads strangley and directly to the ultimate permanent label - wife.

 
At 2:34 PM, September 12, 2006, Blogger Oge said...

Hey buddy - no more blogging?

 
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